Much Love to the Women in My Life

In last month’s edition of “Much Love” appreciation was the theme and since appreciation isn’t given enough attention in many of our lives, I’d like to extend that theme to this month as well.

In this edition, I want to pay homage to the many women who’ve shaped my life as well as those who have and continue to shape the lives of my children.

Women played a big part of building the foundation for the man I’ve become! Wha

t type of man have I become, you ask? I’m a loving, health conscious, ambitious, strong, and wise, out-of-the-box thinking, and supportive, selfless family oriented man. I can almost track each of these traits to a woman in my life who took the time to pour into me when I needed it most. Although it wasn’t always accepted right away, I always took the lessons back and thought about them in my quiet time and still able to pull on those lessons when the right situation presents itself.

In my earliest and fondest memories as a child, I was surrounded by plenty of women and girls. I had my grandmother, mother, aunts and cousins all around me. Most of us lived under one roof at one point or another in our lives. But as I reflect back to those times, I can clearly see who nurtured specific characteristics within me.

My grandmother, with her health education, shaped my view of health, food choices and healthy thinking. A quote that I’ll always remember from her is “sickness doesn’t come from the outside, it comes from within”. She harped on the benefits of a healthy lifestyle. In fact, she probably went too hard! :-)

My mother schooled me in most social matters. She constantly pointed out ill manners to avoid, like lack of respect or jealousy, and stressed the importance of upright character. My mother really gave me the game I needed to operate in this world. And when I say “game” I don’t mean trickery. She made me wise, quickly! A quote that I’ll never forget from her is “An empty wagon always makes the most noise”.

My Aunt Mildred taught me loyalty through her actions! Her marriage, spanning somewhere close to 40 years, speaks to that fact. Her staying power on her religious beliefs for over 40 years also speaks to the type of loyalty she displays. I’ll always remember the admiration my father had for her for aiding him during his time of need. Her gestures were priceless to him, especially coming from an in-law who was technically no longer his in-law. :-)

My Aunt Yolanda taught me how to think outside the box. She always seemed to have a different perspective on things most people would generally see one way. I benefitted from her unorthodox style of nurturing and parenting. When I think of her parenting, I picture acts like allowing her daughter to get married at a young age and allowing that same daughter to move to Germany. I can also remember the level of dedication she put in helping her youngest child in her modeling and culinary arts career. My aunt also gave an organ to her middle child.

Another thing all the women above showed me was how to not be bitter, despite the cards dealt to me or the choices I made.

Now these weren’t the only women who helped to fashion me – these were just the main ones throughout my entire life – there were many, many others. At school, most of the teachers throughout my life were women. They helped shape my thinking and perspective. Other women who were friends of the family and in-laws, even the girl cousins who I grew up with have helped nurture me, and continue to do so. The fundamental teachings from all of these women help shape my life and give it purpose, and I owe much of it to them. All of them!

Thank y’all so much for being strong black women who helped shape my life!

Last, but certainly not least, I also have to say thank you to four very special women who have taken up the mantel to help nurture my children. :-) This goes out to the women who bestowed upon me the blessing that is my children, their mothers: Iriyell Ruffin and Davieyell Benjamin (Happy belated Birthday). And also to my children’s grandmothers; Ms. Vicky and Mrs. Harlett. Without your love and care, my children could not be who they are now and the awesome adults they’re on task to become.

Women are very important. Plus, with the absence of a lot of real men around, they take up a lot of extra slack!

I seriously thought about naming “all” of the women who played a part in helping me become the person I am today but I can’t. There are too many to name. However, what I will do is take a bow…and I encourage each reader to bow with me – literally.

Now I couldn’t close this edition out properly without asking you to take a second to at least think about the strong women in your life… if you haven’t by now….shame on you. :-) Also consider taking some time to extend your appreciation while you still have time.

Much Love,

Soul