The Price of Being Petty

Most people who know me wouldn’t consider me to be a petty person, but I have done some petty things a time or two in my lifetime. One of those times I learned some very valuable lessons about “the price of being petty”. 😀

I will never forget when it happened, because the unfortunate accidental death of Kobe Bryant and his daughter in a helicopter crash had recently occurred (January 26, 2020). Feeling sympathy for the Bryant family forced me to think of my own children; but more specifically my daughter. With those thoughts and my daughter heavy on my mind, I felt compelled to send her about $300.

The whole time I’ve been incarcerated I have always saved the donations I received from family and friends, which was my only income. I spent very little of that money for my needs and wants, and sent a portion of it to my children when I could. My daughter reaped the majority of that benefit due to circumstantial stuff with my son’s mother and me not always being in contact with each other. But I digressed, I’ll get back on point.

The process for a Louisiana prisoner to send money to someone is to first fill out a withdrawal form for the amount to be withdrawn from your account. Submit it with a stamped envelope addressed to who and where you’re sending the money.

I completed the task. ✔. But when it came to the postage stamp, I figured I’d ignore the fact that I had 20+ stamps from a previous purchase at the prison canteen (save those) and, instead, decided to just reuse a postage stamp from an old letter I received from someone with no visible sign of those squiggly lines that usually cover stamps as an identifier that it had been used. Petty (SMH). But, with the withdrawal form, addressed envelope and reused stamp all together, I submitted my request to send my daughter $300.

About a week or two later, while working in the prison’s laundry room, a correctional officer (CO) came to the laundry room (which was unusual) to tell me that I was wanted by the Captain of Investigations (COI) in the warden’s office (which was even more unusual).

“Yes, Ma’am”, I responded to the CO outwardly; all the while thinking “WHAT?! What do they want with me?!” My mind started racing through my memory to find any legitimate reason the COI could be calling for me; but I couldn’t come up with anything. So, I put on my ‘game face’ and went to the office completely unaware of what to expect.

I arrived at the warden’s office to find the warden, his secretary, the colonel, his secretary, and the COI all taking a lunch break. As I entered, all eyes turned on me. So with an unwelcomed look on my face, as though I intruded on their lunch break I said, “Oh, I’m sorry”, then proceeded to turn around and leave. I was quickly stopped when the COI said, “No, come on Jamil”. Then she grabbed a manila folder, pulled out the papers and asked me, “What is this?” In her hand was my withdrawal form, stapled to the addressed envelope. When I saw it, I knew exactly why I was called. “Damn!” is what I said to myself. However, I responded to her question with “that’s my withdrawal form” ignoring the stamp since her question was phrased somewhat ambiguously.

“No, this stamp. Where did you get it?” she replied. Now, reuse of a postage stamp could be considered a felony and, if convicted of such, is punishable by a fine of up to $10,000, or imprisoned up to 5 years, or both for those outside of prison; so just imagine what I’m facing as an inmate in the warden’s office.

So how did I respond to the COI’s question? By telling her something she never expected: The Truth. After all, the truth shall make you free, right? Wrong! The COI told me that I potentially faced a federal offense and how foolish it was of me to threaten all I had worked so hard to accomplish. The warden threw his two cents in, as the others observed the spectacle. After they each finished throwing their verbal jabs at me, the COI asked me to leave the office so she could decide what to do with me.

I certainly maintained my game face while in the warden’s office. But the second I exited the door, a frown of anguish and distress for my actions quickly came – along with a few curse words. She was right. I could possibly be written-up, sent to the hole, stripped of my PRIDE card that granted me special visits with my family, fined or more time. I could lose the living arrangement of sleeping by myself and not having to share a cell to having a bed among 79 other inmates – an accomplishment that would be next to impossible to achieve again; all this over a measly 50 cent stamp.

I know, I know… petty (SMH). And with my pettiness, one of the things I didn’t take into account was the differences between the two stamps. The stamps sold in the canteen had a picture of the liberty bell on it, while the one I attempted to reuse had a picture of the American Flag; which could have been the catalyst that triggered attention.

About 5-10 minutes later, the COI called me back into the warden’s office. I still had the same audience as before, but this time I was given fewer words. While handing me the same addressed envelope without the stamp, she said, “Here, go put another stamp on this envelop”. I told her and her audience “thank you” and happily left….with my game face in tact, of course. 🙂

Now I gained a few valuable lessons from this experience. Of course, I was made fully aware of my pettiness and the damage it could’ve caused. In spite of that, and probably just as important, I learned the lesson of how my past actions can come back to hurt or help me. In my case, I strongly believe that my character had a major part to play in my violation being overlooked. I’d been a ‘model inmate’ and had established a good reputation for myself from inmate to warden and all those in between. I’m also sure it helped a lot that I was truthful when she questioned me. It would’ve been simpler, yet common, to just say I found it. Another move that probably helped me was being the rare father that sacrifices for his children from behind bars. Despite how idiotic and contradictory it was to send $300 to my child while trying to save 50 cent on postage, I’m sure the human in her didn’t overlook my striving to be a provider.

The last lesson I drew from that experience is that mercy can be shown from those in such leadership positions. As an inmate, I never expected and seldom witnessed mercy being show from those in authority. So it was very refreshing to feel that display of mercy – no matter how seemingly small the infraction.

Now I’m not gonna lie to you and say that I’ll never be petty again. Nevertheless, I will say that I’ll never, ever, ever, ever attempt to reuse a postage stamp again! 🙂

Much Love,

Soul