FRIENDS, Part II

Dear "Much Love, Soul" Readers, Last month’s article had a great buzz! The friendship topic proved to be a subject that many readers could relate to and I received the most feedback on that article in a shorter amount of time than all others combined.

Well, since it was so well received, I thought that I would follow up on last month’s article with a glimpse into some of my friendships. In this edition you'll see how and where some of my friendships were established. You'll get a chance to see the various backgrounds and places my friends come from. You'll also learn about the type of friend I am/have been from my friend’s vantage point and in their words. More importantly, you'll see what our friendship means to each one of them. Hopefully this article can help you understand me a little more and bring to light who I am, the person I've been, and the person I hope to become.

Before I let you delve into my world, I want to say thank you to each one of my friends who submitted a letter to be included in this edition of Much Love…..Soul. I know how busy life can become and the effort and dedication one has to have to follow up on a task like a personal letter.

Thank you and love you. Here are some of my friends and their feelings about me and our friendship: -- LETTERS -- Walter Aswell is about a 34 year old Caucasian male; grew up in Mandeville, LA

It's a privilege to be asked to contribute to this newsletter, especially on a topic as meaningful as this one. I only hope my addition lives up to the expectations of both the editor and the reader.

I don't know the exact date or year to refer to as the beginning of my friendship with Soul. I would guess we really became friends around 2015, so it's been several years. I do remember that that friendship began somewhat accidentally. Soul moved into Dorm 12 here at DCI where I was already living at the time. He was assigned to a bunk either directly above or adjacent to mine. I don't remember which, only that he had become my new neighbor. Meanwhile, a bunk toward the other end of the dorm near a few of the guys I hung out and worked with came available. I made the move to that other bunk and as I gathered my things, Soul made a comment to the effect of, "Wow, you took the first chance you got to get away from me, huh?" He said it in an obviously joking manner but there was a part of him that really believed I had moved just so I wouldn't have to live near him. After that, I made it a point to be friendly toward Soul so he could see that I had no issues with him personally.

It soon became apparent that not only were there no hard feelings toward Soul, but I genuinely liked the guy! I feel like the uncanny origins to our friendship makes it a meaningful one. A good friend is hard enough to come by, and much less likely from a prison environment. Though we have different backgrounds and world views, Soul and I share many core values. I always enjoy the time I get to spend with Soul because we're always able to use it constructively.

There are only a few people in my life that I consider "friends" and Soul is truly one of them. He's the only person here I can speak openly with about anything. He's always shown patience and understanding whenever I've shared my opinions with him. I can also trust that he'll offer counterpoints to explain why he may disagree. More often than not, our debates result in a deeper understanding of the topic of discussion. Even when that doesn't happen, we can just as easily accept that we have a different way of looking at things while respecting each other's point of view. Soul has also proven to be a fount of wisdom that I've been able to learn from. From fashion to financial advice, he's never been stingy when it comes to sharing lessons he's learned and how they can be helpful to me too. All in all, Soul's just a good dude who deserves to have all the best things in life. I'm proud to name his among my friends.

Calvin Solet is a 42 year old Caucasian/Native American male; grew up in Dulac, LA

I met Jamil Joyner around 2013 when he had recently transferred to DCI. I'd already been at this institution for a couple of years and in the department of corrections for over a decade. I could see by how he carried himself that he was of a different caliber. I pride myself on surrounding myself with men, not boys, and Jamil is most definitely a man. In prison you'll find all types of characters and guys trying to find themselves or trying to be people they're not. Jamil was already firmly deep rooted into who and what he is. Yes there is always room for growth and maturity... and that’s all Jamil is doing; aging quite gracefully. I struck up a conversation with him because that's what I do...I'm more of a speaker and social being. From the very start I knew I had met a friend and an ally in life. I've learned ALOT from Jamil over the years because he's more of a thinker and processor of situations than most.

In prison, and I guess in life, friends are hard to find and I mean actual friends because anyone can say they're your friend, but where are they when your box is empty and the yards turned against you? That's just for instance because neither he nor I rely on one another for finances or strength. He's a man that can stand alone, on his own two feet, and think for himself with integrity. I know a lot of people but actual, factual friends are few and far in between. Jamil is not a friend to me...he's a brother and a person I truly look up to and admire. Do we see eye to eye on everything? No and we see things differently a lot, but we both aren't "yes men" or pawns for others. We grew up in two totally different walks of life but ended up in the same situation. He'll always have a friend in me and he already knows I don't back down from my friendship's obligations.... hahahaha

Mr. Bobby is a 74 year old Black male; grew up in Harvey, LA

[Friend] This word is not meant to represent everyone you are acquainted with. Everyone you call your friend may be the furthest thing from that. Most of the time it's just a word we use loosely, without giving it any serious thought. We all have acquaintances, which most of the time we will call our friends. Let's analyze what a friend really means -- To Me: 1) A true friend will always have your best interest at heart. 2) When you are down in the dumps for whatever reason, a true friend will always have his hand extended to pull you through. 3) A true friend will never lie to you. 4) A true friend will always be honest with you. He'll never tell you what he thinks you will want to hear. He will always keep it real. 5) A true friend will hurt when you are hurting. When people sometimes say, "Show me who you are with and I'll tell you who you are."; seeing me with Jamil Joyner, there's only one thing they can say, or one word they can use. That word is FRIEND. Thank you Soul for I can always say that you are truly my friend: I've known Jamil Joyner at least 9 years or more. It's sort of strange how we first met one another: I would often times encounter Jamil (better known as "Soul") through casually passing one another on the yard. Whenever we would run into each other, we always had a pleasant greeting towards each other. Never any prolonged conversation...just that speaking to one another and going our separate way in greeting. This speaking to one another would happen every time we crossed each other’s path. It was just that aura Soul had about himself that made you want to always acknowledge him.

Then we were finally put on the same dorm. When we realized that we were on the same dorm we really greeted one another with the warmest exuberance I ever felt towards meeting another person. Since being housed on the same dorm, we had the perfect opportunity to take our casual greetings to another level. Seeing each other every day gave us the chance to really get to know each other. Through time on the dorm and always talking, that's when we knew that a friendship - a true friendship was formed. In all the years now that Soul and I have been around each other, he has never changed. Pleasant, happy go lucky, and always true to his word. Besides family -- Jamil Joyner really means the world to me. A true friend for life. We started out as strangers in passing. Now through the grace of the Lord He has given me a friend. And I thank Him every day.

Eugene Honora is about a 42 year old Black male from Slidell, LA

My name is Eugene Honora. First I would like to thank the Most High for blessing me to see another day above ground and free. I met Brother Jamil in 2017 at Dixon Correctional Center in Jackson, LA. Jamil was part of a group called Toastmasters and I was trying to become a member. Now when I first met Brother Jamil I didn’t immediately recognize the type of Brother he is. After a few conversations with him I knew he was special. The Brother is genuinely a real friend to anyone who approaches him and seeks even the smallest amount of his time. Now Jamil is younger than me but one could never tell. I know I couldn’t until after a few months when I asked him how old was he. He became a mentor to me and taught me so much about life that I owe him so much I don’t think I’ll ever be able to repay him. The morals and standards that was instilled in him by his Father and the men around him made me realize early on that Jamil was different. Once I understood that, I wanted to soak up as much knowledge as I could while I was around him.

Jamil and I were around each other for 4 1/2 years until my recent parole on June 1 of this year. I’ve been friends with him now for a total of 5 years now and he has never changed. There is a lot people will try to say about Jamil but the ones that actually know him will only tell you that he is a man of integrity, honesty, respect, he’s trustworthy, and he has a heart of gold. The brother, for me, is the type of friend and brother I’ve wanted my whole life but only had the opportunity to know for these last 5 years; which again have been a blessing to me. Not only is he a great friend but he’s also a great father to his kids, a great brother to his sisters and brothers, a great nephew and a great son even though he may be incarcerated.

Jamil is what we call the glue and a pillar to his family structure. Once you become friends with Jamil, you become his family in every sense of the word. One would be a fool not to see that the Brother is great and will continue to be great no matter where he is located. Even the prison walls can’t and won’t stop his shine.

To you Brother Jamil, I appreciate every word of encouragement you ever gave. Every piece of advice that you’ve given. For every time I expressed my anger about a situation and you gave me a different perspective to look at and you turned out to be right. I can never Thank you enough but I can and will do what have to do within my power to see you come home and be free. Living your life to its fullest potential like you were created too. Keep your head up Brother and I Love You. Peace Blackman.

Tramell Bray is a 38 year old Black male who grew up in Atlanta, GA

"I have known Jamil since I was 10 years old, so about 30 years. I meet him at my sister's uncle house. His friendship means everything to me. We were like brothers when we were younger. We both are comedians so we shared a lot of funny and fun times. He was a good friend to me we, always kept in touch throughout the years, even when he moved to New Orleans."

Rashad Johnson is a 38 year old Black male who grew up in N. Carolina

Where do I start, I met my brother Jamil Joyner in 2000 at West Jefferson High School. It’s was our love of music that initially brought us together as classmates. Overtime our relationship grew into business partners as well as brothers. We started an investment group amongst close friends to invest in different business ventures. Soul (Jamil) was one of the first people to invest into my music career. He saw my vision early in life and believed in it. Jamil has always been someone I could call on, even my wife could call on. Even ‘til this day, despite the brother’s circumstance, he continues to encourage. Personally his friendship has been unmeasurable in my life and I could only imagine what he could be contributing to the community. Brothers like Jamil are rare and I know his work in this world is far from done. I’m grateful to be part of his story.

Dion Lee is 38 year old Black Male from New Orleans, LA

My name is Dion Lee. I met Soul during a time where most offenders were displaced in the south due to hurricane Katrina. We were both at Hunt Correctional Center in Fox, late 2005 early 2006. He ran a store and our relationship started solely on me purchasing things from him. I noticed for such a young man he did business really well and his operation was not surrounded by drama. He also had a calm character and was wise beyond his years. A key moment where our friendship developed was one day in the visitation shed my cousin, that is like a sister to me, came to visit. She noticed Soul and asked me and I quote, “Who that boy is? He cute.” I told her who he was and she told me she was interested so I let her know I would talk to him once we got back to the dorm. I let him know what she said and they begin to correspond. To this day I just don’t introduce anyone to my family so that says a lot about the type of person I had known him to be. To this day I don’t know what she saw in him.  Through the process of time he went home on bond and I gave him my information. He did reach out and I thought that was cool because you meet a lot of guys in prison that tell you a bunch of promises about what they are going to do once they get home and most forget about you as soon as they touch the door. I guess it was around 2008 that we ended up meeting again at Avoyelles Correctional Facility in Cottonport, LA. It was like we did not miss a step and he was the same person that I had gotten to know those years back.

Soul falls into the small number of guys that makes you say to yourself, “This guy doesn’t belong in prison!” He is someone that you could always talk to and get a listening ear. Anything that you tell him you could rest assure that it is in confidence and won’t end up in the gossip circuit. He never allows situations to dictate his disposition so you get the same person every time you encounter him. He always has sound, real advice that even when it may be something that may be painful to the Hearer, it comes off perfectly. Soul is a person that I’m glad that I’ve met and that’s why after knowing him for nearly 16 years and not being at the same facility since 2012 we are still in contact with one another. He is a person that I believe that we will have a friendship once we both get home and I look forward to it.

-- CONCLUSION -- I hope that this insight of Jamil "Soul" Joyner as a friend was as pleasurable for you to read as it was for me. It's always enjoyable to know that you either have done or are doing a good job. I look forward to growing in my friendships and being a better friend today than I've been in the past. Much Love,

Soul